I’m fresh back from a holiday in Broome; we flew to Port Headland and then drove to Broome. Headland is a very exciting place. They have salt! They have anthills! They have trains! They have possibly the most unreliable air services in the country!

I was bored while I was there so I thought you would enjoy this photo essay. I present to you: the splendour of Port Headland.

All your thrilled reactions are belong to me.

To fully enjoy those photos, scroll back up while playing the song below (“Barbados” by The Models). It really brings out the party atmosphere of the iron ore trains. Actually the main radio station up there insists on playing this kind of sunny 80’s pop - it’s a mix of this, Duran Duran and Bowie’s Let’s Dance. If you ever need a sense of what it must have felt like to be a slightly embarrassed Bowie fan in 1986, telling your friends that he “used to be great”, head to Headland.

In this photo, taken by Brash And Sassy’s Gennia Febbraio, you can see me posing with my WAMington for Best Electronic Act. You will note my Myer catalogue facial expression. You will note the pure class and sexuality with which I hold myself while posing with the cake. You will see my hair, finally sitting perfectly after three weeks of continuous bad hair days. You will see a man who already (!!) ate a cake for Best Electronic Producer. You will see a man who didn’t win the other award (Most Popular Live Act) that he was nominated for, but who didn’t expect to and is frankly so high on cake right now he can’t come down anyway and who only has a certain amount of room in his fridge - more cake would possibly be too much.

Mostly, you will see a very delighted and humbled gentleman, basking in the warm glows from rays of recognition from his peers. And, in case you’d like to know, they feeeeeeel goooooooooood.

What a fucking great night. Congrats to other winners/nominees/citizens of Perth. High fives all round, on me.

I just came home from the Craft Awards of the 2010 WAMi’s (Western Australian Music Industry Awards), where one of the three categories I’ve been nominated for this year was presented.

In slightly awesome news, I won it.

Those of you outside of WA might not be aware, but WAMi’s are presented in delicious cake form. So, this is what I won (photo taken pre-eating - the taste was chocolatey, with an aftertaste of victorious delight).

Props, however, must be given to my fellow nominees this year who are all fucking great. ShockOne, Naik and Trilby Temperly all make music that you should listen to, so go do that now. I’ll be sat here, stuffing myself with cake.

Yep. That’s me. Up the back, behind the enormous hair. In the hideous 80’s jumper. That’s right, I’m magazine famous now.

It’s WAMi week next week, so my Perth penpals are in luck. I’m playing at the Saturday Spectacular at Capitol, which is my only show for a bit. But more oddly, I’m playing an acoustic set as part of Love Is My Velocity’s Takeaway Tunes recording studio. Everyone on the interwebs will be able to download a recording of it at http://www.loveismyvelocity.com from Friday night onwards, but if you’re in town, why not head down to 54 Lake Street (across from the Elephant And Wheelbarrow) in Northbridge at 8pm on WAMi Friday night? That’s Friday May 21. It’s going to be pretty special - in case you haven’t noticed, I don’t often play acoustic shows. As in EVER. So this is going to be a lot of fun. If you need additional incentive, one of Perth’s all time best favourite acts, Schvendes will be recording before me at 6pm.

This is the poster:

To get you in the mood for firing up your old boombox for some oldschool cassingle loungroom blue light disco action, I’ve made a bit of a playlist up for everyone. It’s not so much my version of guest programming Rage as it is my version of programming Video Smash Hits on a saturday morning in 1994.

If you prefer to watch these in a row on your laptop while you have a bath or something, click here to play it as a YouTube video playlist.

1. Loudspeeka - Tomas Ford

This is why we’re here, really. It’s my fatter-than-yo-mamma cassingle rave-pop rap jam SMASH Loudspeeka. You can buy it on cassingle if you click this link - it’s only $10 and they look totally fucking gorgeous. Sorry for the hard sell, but a Brothers’ gotta eat.

2. Sing Hallejuliah - Dr. Alban

I guess you would say Dr. Alban’s sense of style has really informed mine. I guess you could say that, but please don’t. Ever.

3. What Is Love? - Haddaway

Don’t you love YouTube? “INJECTED WITH A POISON-ON-ON-ON…” and posting rips of awesomez HADDAWAY tunes! ZOMG, those guys must be so l333333T!

4. House Of Love - East 17

I really would like to go back in time so I could drop a pill at an East 17 gig. I imagine them to be a travelling boy band who played sets at acid house parties held in tents under british motorways and in forests, only getting through six minutes of tune-age before the cops shut them down. I imagine that, because any longer a set and they would probably have to play Deep.

5. Slave To The Music - Twenty 4 Seven

Oh my god. This song is so awesome. I got it on a free promo tape you could get from McDonalds. My rapping style is clearly very influenced by this guy: “I’m a party freak, and I really mean a freak! Every day of the week! I cannot live my life without jamming! That is why my life is so slamming!”

6. Love You Right - Euphoria

Australia’s gay house version of Milli Vanilli. The girl singing is just a model, I think the brunette is the one actually singing - I’m also pretty sure the blonde girl killed herself after it was revealed she wasn’t the actual singer. Must’ve been a bit of a headfuck. Actually, that makes them more like Australia’s gay house version of Nirvana. If only the music could live up to such a genre title. How could anything?

7. In Your Room - Toni Pearen

I bought this cassingle after watching Toni lipsynch this song on Hey Hey. It was a very minor Australian hit; musically it doesn’t fit with the other stuff here but I thought we needed a breather from the day-glo party action and it’s pretty funny that I actually owned this thing. The video is a prime example of the style I reference in my video clip. I like the breakdown in this too: she sings the worst lyric ever and then the dancer from the Brash And Sassy film clip arrives.

8. Girl’s Life - Girlfriend

If I was a girl when I was 13, I totally would have worn one of those huge wicca 90’s hats with a flower on it and had pillow fights with my friends at sleepovers in my citrus coloured jimmy-jams to this. And it would have been awesome.

8. Twilight Zone - 2 Unlimited

Early in my career, I would perform an electroclash version of No Limit. Which was great, but my favourite 2 Unlimited song was always Twilight Zone. I would go nuts when this dropped at Rockingham’s version of a Blue Light Disco, the Rocko Rage.

9. Anything - Culture Beat

Sure, I could have programmed Mr. Vain here, but I wanted to give you some reeeeeal deep cuts. You know what I’m talking about.

10. Pump Up The Jam - Techotronic

OK, fair enough. A crowd pleaser. Here it is. Obvious reference point for my video clip. Fucking awful song though, innit?

11.  Shocked (Lets Get To It Tour) - Kylie Minogue feat. Jazzi P

Oh, you think you’re above Kylie Minogue? I dare you to watch this and not quake in your boots at the power of this tracks’ awesomeness. Actually, poor old Kyles is a bit flat. She usually is, but particularly so here. The rap though, that’s where it’s at.

12. Ladies First - Queen Latifah

I’ve kind of put this in here as a bit of a public service; Queen Latifah is someone who everyone thinks must’ve been a good rapper at some point but that’s mostly because nobody these days has heard her rap. Now you have and you know she shouldn’t do it.

13. Lucas With The Lid Off - Lucas

This clip blew my mind when it came out. It’s still pretty good. Not quite mind blowing. But good.

14. Treaty - Yothu Yindi

If you are not dancing around the room to this right now, you sicken me. This is the PARTY JAM.

15. Be My Lover - La Bouche

Another great euro-rap verse. You can’t fight the power of it, so don’t try. This song actually annoys the hell out of me, except for the awfultastic rap verses; I wonder if there’s an acapella floating around the internets for it.

16. Jump - The Movement

Nothing can top this; I once saw a woman lipsynch this while bouncing on a gym trampoline and it WAS AWESOME. That image has supplanted this video clip for me. She blew my mind. This song blows my mind. Strictly for the HARDCORE. AAARRREEE YOOOOOUUUUU REEEEADDDYYYY???

17. Hyper Hyper - Scooter

Actually, this tops Jump but I didn’t hear it until a few years ago. The background talking in Loudspeeka is basically my Scooter impersonation. “So beautiful to see your hands in the air! Put your hands in the air!” He is a classically awful euro-rapper on a level I may spend years trying to mimic. But try not to grin when you hear this track. Try not to throw your hands in the air, even if you’re driving or standing underneath low hanging electrical wire. You can’t help yourself.

Now scroll down to the next post, watch my clip again and, for the love of god, buy the fucking cassingle.

Ladies and Gentlemen, for your entertainment, allow me to present the new video by and of Tomás Ford, the supreme early ’90s rave-pop powerfest that is Loudspeeka.

I see you there, wanting a copy of this track. Fair enough, I would too. Even better, you can get a combined Cassingle & MP3 pack that gives you the glory of a cassingle with the practical use-ability of an instant mp3 (or whatever format you want really, my Bandcamp-powered store supports practically everything) download. Go there now and buy one.

I know it’s exciting. Don’t faint. Not yet, anyway; buy a tape. And then faint.

Finally! The tapes have arrived! Do they not look amazing? Do they not blow your mind? To further blow your mind, they come with DOWNLOAD CODES so you can have the tracks from the tape on MP3 (or FLAC/AAC/OGG VORBIS) for no extra cost!

They’re only $10 plus a small charge for P&H so head to the store to buy them - I’m pretty sure these will sell madly and although there’s no current limit to the edition, they’re made in small batches I will get bored of having them duplicated at some stage, so it’s a good idea to GET YOURS NOW!!

The new video clip for Loudspeeka will be streaming from here tonight (!!!!!!!!), so make sure to check back around 8 pm (Australian Western Standard Time).

Yep. WAMi’s are coming up again. Last year the festival ended up being a lot of fun, I had a hugely fun showcase and won an award for Best Electronic Producer in a field that included Pendulum (! - still pretty amazing when I read it back, I was as surprised as anyone else there) and a couple of local Drum And Bass producers I have a lot of respect for - Sardi and Taku.

Tonight they announced nominations at a pleasant soiree at the Velvet Lounge: I’m nominated for Best Electronic Producer and Best Live Electronic Act. But, fucking amazingly, I’m nominated for Most Popular Live Act. I’m in a field up against Sugar Army, Karnivool and my dear friends in Boys! Boys! Boys!, but if you like my stuff, I’d really appreciate if you were to click this link to vote for my badass self.

Still in a bit of shock about this. The noms:

BEST LIVE ELECTRONIC ACT
Naik
The Transients
ME
Voltaire Twins

BEST ELECTRONIC PRODUCER
ME
Naik
Trilby Temperley
ShockOne

BEST LIVE ACT
Boys! Boys! Boys!
Karnivool
Sugar Army
ME! FUCKING ME! (Go vote! Please!!)

OK, OK, you caught me out, fine. I’ve been using the Loudspeeka cassingle as an excuse to not update my blog. I’ve been really busy doing cool stuff, too, so I’m a bit pissed at myself for not keeping you in the loop.

• I did a Melbourne show. Was awesome.
• I had my Cassingle launch. Was huge.
• My Perth shows have been stupid amounts of fun, all of them.
• I went to Fairbridge and bummed around as a punter.
• I watched a porno in a basement cinema with a live soundtrack by Chris Cobilis, which was easily the best thing I’ve seen all year.
• I went to Melbourne Comedy Fest to punter around.
• I did lots of other stuff.

More excitingly though, I’ve been hacking away at my homemade DIY early ’90s rave video clip for Loudspeeka, which should premiere next week and getting very deep into recording. The album is starting to have a cohesive sound, which is exciting, and I know almost exactly what I want the finished result to sound like for the first time in the whole process.

There’s some surprises on there; last week I finally forced myself to arrange the guitar song from my live show, Vice, which I’d been dreading for ages, but an effective backdrop for it came together within a couple of days. I think it’s got a really intimate vibe to it. Tonight I’ve got Five Times up on the blocks, tinkering with the percussion programming and figuring out which nasty-ass reverb I want to use on it.

I’ve been slowly laying down vocals for things, which is really what’d been holding this record back as I’m always so fussy with them, but I’m learning to really loosen up as when I get too controlling of them they tend to lose their energy. I’m doing the best I can and seeing what I can get out of myself and it’s a lot more fun that way than struggling to make all vocals shiny and perfect. This album’s songs work better with a rawer vocal style anyway.

OK, I’m gonna go. Talk soon, I promise.

Throw your hands in the air! P-p-party! Party!

It’s been a while coming, and it kind of happened by accident, but my rave-rap anthem Loudspeeka is geting a cassingle release!

You can stream it here:

And if you click into my store, you can pre-order a copy of the CASSINGLE, which will be in a glorious plastic case, on a printed colour cassette with a shiny inlay. You will adore it, I have no doubt.

I’m putting the finishing touches on a video for this, which will hit your screens sometime over the next few weeks.

If you feel the need for party on Saturday April 3, we’re launching this sucker at Mojo’s Bar in North Fremantle, Western Australia, with a behemoth two stage Disco Wonderland. It will blow your head clean off.